This is the generation that grew up with LiveJournal. They’ve been on the Internet since they were old enough to bang two tiny fingers against a keyboard, and it’s easy to be detached from experience when many of your formative ones may have been online proxies for the real thing. There are advantages to this, of course: proxy experience is sometimes better than no experience, and can provide material for a writer in need of it, as so heavily evidenced by Marie Calloway. The disadvantage is that it can also desensitize. Sometimes detachment isn’t a narrative mode; it’s a manifestation of the writer’s unwillingness or inability to get closer to the material. It’s a refusal to write with more rigor and purpose.

They used to do drunken [shows] on St. Patrick’s Day, where they hand-picked two teams to perform. They don’t do it anymore, I think because it got kind of dangerous. But I was picked one year. The only rule was that you had to be legally drunk to perform onstage, and you had to blow into a breathalyzer. I was on a team with Ellie Kemper, and we all pre-gamed. At some point during our pre-gaming, we went from “We have to be legally drunk” to “We will be the drunkest.” I can’t say I remember much from that show. It became a crazy performance-art piece, where there were no scenes. It was just drunk people walking around a stage, interacting with one another and the audience. At one point, I was screaming at the mic stand, though there was no mic there. And I’m pretty sure Ellie and I made out onstage. I kind of wish I had been in the audience for that show.

But wait, you say, I thought you don’t wear bikinis? You’re absolutely right, I don’t. Then why am I telling you all of this? Because I want girls to know that dressing modestly is a SACRIFICE. It’s not always fun or easy. Sometimes you’d rather wear something else. I would like to wear a bikini at the beach, I think they’re cute. I also find all the extra fabric of tankinis annoying when trying to swim. And lastly, more material on swimwear = more $$$.

So why don’t you just wear a bikini, you ask? Why? Because I am making a sacrifice for the guys around me. I’ve heard the excuse, Guys just have an imagination, it’s not a girl’s problem. Frankly, I think that’s stupid. Part of it is our problem. The way we dress impacts those around us, especially guys. I don’t really want a guy to look at me and notice me for my butt, upper thighs, or chest. I’d rather him notice my smile or God-loving personality. Well sure, you say, that’s all fine and good, but guys should be able to control their imagination and look beyond our bodies. That’s true, they should control it. But it’s important for girls to help them as they try and do so.